1969 Chrysler Newport | The Oppo Review

"cletus44 aka Clayton Seams" (cletus44)
01/27/2015 at 20:58 • Filed to: None

Full disclosure: Chrysler wanted me to drive this car so bad that they left it abandoned in a parking garage waiting for me to discover it. (Clever folks)

EXTERIOR 8/10

This thing just looks cool. It's giant, brash and covered in cool 60's details. I especially love the quad headlights nestled in to the giant chrome grill. This car was the first year of Chrysler's controversial "fuselage" design language and it really didn't look like anything else on the road in 1969. Why only eight points? My car is a "post" sedan and has a pesky B pillar between the doors breaking up the lines. Get rid of that B pillar and I'd give it a nine.

INTERIOR 7/10

I hope you like teal because everything inside the mighty Newport is a perfect 60's turquoise. Everywhere you look, you find more teal. The steering wheel, dashboard, door panels, seats, roof, and carpet are all color-matched. The seats are not exactly supportive but are supremely comfortable. Oddly, despite being a massive luxury sedan, the Newport has wind up windows, manual locks and cloth seats. See, the Newport was the "entry-level" Chrysler model so it's relatively sparse in there. Of course all of its square footage makes it an excellent date car.

ACCELERATION 8/10

This thing scoots. Punch it from a standstill and the rear tires squeal as you lay down rubber across the intersection. Mine is powered by a 383 cubic inch V8 with a Carter 2BBL carb. All those cubes are good for 290 horsepower and 390 lb ft of torque. This is a pre-smog, pre-emissions, pre-OPEC big block and it's damn strong. Flooring the throttle at 40 mph initiates a forceful kick down to second and induction roar fills the cabin. This thing will hustle to 100 mph+ if you let it.

BRAKING 2/10

Oh my god it's so bad! The brakes are actually scary bad. The Chrysler utilizes massive drum brakes on all four wheels and they're massively over-boosted. I once accidentally threw Peter Black into the dashboard because the brakes locked up on me. No pedal feel at all. Just coasting and screeching to a halt. Your two options. I also have a vacuum leak somewhere so the pedal sinks to the floor if you sit in traffic with your foot on the pedal too long. So scary. I want discs.

RIDE 9/10

The ride is heavenly. Nothing compares to the way a 1960's Detroit full-size floats across the road. Sometimes I run over a speed bump and start laughing because of how smoothly the car takes it. It's comically nautical. The leaf-sprung live rear axle does tend to get bouncy over manhole covers and expansion joints but that might be due to worn out (and probably 45 year old) shock absorbers.

HANDLING 1/10

LOL. Holy crap it's bad. You know those "recommended speed" signs on off ramps? Yeah if I tried to achieve those speeds I'd be killed. The Chrysler is possibly one of the worst handling cars you could buy. Like a blimp, it can be tugged one direction or the other, but fast cornering will never be achieved. This thing makes my old 1966 Impala look like a Lotus Elan.

GEARBOX 5/10

This here Chrysler is conducted by a three-speed torqflite automatic. It works pretty well for translating the 383's torque into forward momentum. It also tends to shift pretty hard when it's cold and it only has three gears. The torqflite is a decent transmission for its age and can handle all kinds of power. It just isn't gracefull all the time. #twopedallyfe

AUDIO 1/10

My AM radio quit working. It only had one paper speaker and it didn't work when I drove under power lines. So currently the only audio comes from the V8 or my passenger if they want to talk.

TOYS 4/10

Uhhhhhhhh... It's got four cigarette lighters? So four points I guess. It also has turn signals mounted on the front corners of the car that point at you so you get to watch those blink as you turn.

Value 10/10

I paid $1,700 freaking dollars for this thing. I've had bicycles that were more expensive. Yes, it has a drinking problem and yes, it's like driving a aircraft carrier but nothing turns heads like this thing. People walk up all the time and tell me that they used to have one back in the day. And smiles per gallon? Well it's off the charts :)

Oppo score: 55/100

Specs:

Engine: 383 cu in V8

Power: 290 hp, 390 lb ft

Transmission: Three-speed torqflite automatic

0-60: ~8.5 seconds

Top Speed: mach chicken

Curb Weight: 4,500 pounds

Seating: 6

MPG: LOL

Price: $1,700

DISCUSSION (30)

Dsscats > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:03

Kinja'd!!!

Mmm, dat color.

GhostZ > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:03

What are the brake upgrade options here? I'd love to drive an old chrysler sedan, but I'd have to do some brake and suspension changes before I'd feel safe.

JGrabowMSt > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:04

Those valve covers need painting. It's okay, I need to paint mine too.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > JGrabowMSt
01/27/2015 at 21:10

They've actually since been painted. They look great good!

TopSirloin > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:10

8.5 seconds to 60mph was actually a lot faster than I thought. Also, seems like "miles per gallon" is less appropriate than "gallons per mile" for these boats. Nice review.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > GhostZ
01/27/2015 at 21:10

They came with discs. The genius who ordered my car deleted them to get drums on the front.

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:11

Ah, memories. My family had a '72 Plymouth Fury III. In this color with the 318, and I think a vinyl 1/2 top. This was my dad's idea of "down-sizing" from a '67 Mercury Park Lane. If I remember correctly, and forgive me as it was 35+ years ago, the Plymouth was notoriously unreliable to the point where my mom refused to drive it anymore. It was sold and my dad bought a '79 VW Rabbit off of a family friend. Now THAT was a great little car.

Kinja'd!!!

ranwhenparked > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:14

I love the fuselage Chryslers - and like many cars from the era of annual styling changes, the first year does look best. The whole look just screams solidity and power.

Steve in Manhattan > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:15

When you get down to NYC, email me - steve.reiness@gmail.com - we will go on an adventure. I have driven a car like this, and a Fury III wagon from the same era. It's a link to the past. And, I'll buy you lunch at Eisenberg's .

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:17

I still think you got a way better deal than I did on the Lincoln. I paid $1500 bucks for mine but It needs quite a bit of work. Mechanically it's top notch but the suspension needs a full rebuild. new shocks,springs,bushings and a new gas tank are all in the works.

Surprisingly the exterior and interior on mine is in real good shape.

What's yours like in the rust department?

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:19

Disc Brake conversions? They aren't too expensive, but not exactly cheap. You want all corners or just the front?

Relevant Hotrod article: http://www.hotrod.com/how-to/chassis…

Your car starting reminded me of the Jetta earlier this week, but it started 3 times quicker. I'll get the video up in a minute.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Steve in Manhattan
01/27/2015 at 21:20

Hmmmmm do I have to drive the mile-wide Chrysler in Manhattan? That sounds terrifying.

bob and john > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:25

dude, we need a better carb on tht thing and bring tht HP # up.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
01/27/2015 at 21:27

Rust? None really. The underside is grimy but fine. It does have one tiny hole in the trunk from where a pipe dripped on it for three years!

JGrabowMSt > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:27

pics? I'm thinking of doing black with a HEMI Orange stripe on mine (because I have a HEMI).

Steve in Manhattan > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:28

Nah - park it on the outskirts, take the subway in - we'll work out the logistics later.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Steve in Manhattan
01/27/2015 at 21:28

Could work! I'll be in NYC for the auto show too just without the Chrysler

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:32

Shit must be nice!

Kinja'd!!!

I'm gonna clean mine up and keep going with it but one day I will find a truly rust free car somewhere.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:45

Kinja'd!!!

Left side ignition: because racecar

Raphael Orlove > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:47

JEALOUSY LEVEL: MESOSPHERIC

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
01/27/2015 at 21:48

okay, video is up. Hopefully the new glow plugs installed today help it start a lot quicker.

Steve in Manhattan > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 21:56

I am an agoraphobe, but I should try to get out to the auto show this year. Haven't been since 2006, so it will be a revelation. Stay on me, and kick me in the ass so I show up.

GhostZ > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
01/27/2015 at 22:06

....why .